Interruptions: What Parenting Teens Taught Me About Fundraising
Whether you're trying to have a meaningful conversation with your teenager or stewarding a major donor relationship, interruptions kill momentum. That sticky note recently taped to my glass door captures what every parent knows - and what many fundraisers and managers experience daily.
Just like teenagers who interrupt important conversations to ask about weekend plans or if they can get a ride, fundraisers often derail donor cultivation with:
Premature solicitation attempts
Off-topic tangents during donor meetings
Reactive responses instead of strategic listening
Breaking relationship rhythm with moments of urgency but non-essential asks
Here's what is really happening in both scenarios: anxiety drives interruption.
Teens interrupt meaningful conversations because they are anxious about whether they are being seen or heard. They can't sit with the uncertainty of waiting for the right moment, so they jump in with whatever feels urgent in that instant.
Fundraisers do the exact same thing. They interrupt the natural flow of donor relationships because they are anxious about whether the gift will close. Instead of trusting the process, they jump straight to the ask or fill silence with unnecessary chatter about organizational needs.
In both cases, anxiety creates a false urgency that undermines the very connection they're trying to build. The teenager who interrupts gets shut down instead of heard. The fundraiser who rushes the relationship creates distance instead of trust and collaborative conversation.
The irony? Both teens and donors are usually ready for deeper connection - they just need someone confident enough to create the space for it to unfold naturally, without the anxiety-driven interruptions that derail opportunities for authenticity.
I help fundraisers identify their interruption patterns - just like helping parents recognize when their own anxiety causes them to cut off important conversations with their kids.
The result? Donors feel truly heard, relationships deepen authentically, and gifts close naturally - without the pushy interruptions that damage trust.
Your "Almost Done" Moment
What if your team could have those crucial donor conversations without the interruptions that kill momentum?
As a mother of teens, I know that the most important revelations never emerge during the conversations I planned. They happen at very inconvenient times when exhausted, or in the car between last minute errands, or right when I thought we were "almost done" talking.
The same is true with donors. After two decades in major gifts, I've learned that transformational moments happen when you stop trying to control the conversation and start trusting the relationship. But that requires a kind of confidence that can only come from understanding your own patterns - and having the tools to change them.
